As I was thinking of my friendships this morning - I couldn't help but be reminded of the sea, with it's ever changing and evolving waters, shoreline and beauty.
The ocean is incredibly powerful, as we have witnessed many times with hurricanes and floods. Relationships are the same way - the people we let in our lives will highly influence who we become. I've been told that the person we will be 5 years from now, depends on the books we read and the people we associate with NOW. And I truly believe it.
Some friendships are moved by circumstances - they seem to ebb and flow like the tides, in and out. These friends are your best buds for a time, and you see them constantly. Then, as the tide retreats, that time becomes fewer and farther between. Sometimes it's a gradual tide pull, and other times it happens as an undertow - one minute they are with you and the next they are out to sea. The interesting thing about these relationships, is that they may very well return to your life once the tides of circumstance turns.
Imagine the tide rolling in and out - can you see the sand near the shallow water being churned up and "muddying" the water? This occurs in these relationships as well. When we have periods of time where we are not invovled in each others lives, things happen and people change in ways we might not expect. When the tide comes back in - our lives collide and can "muddy" the relationship waters, as we expect things to be status quo as before. With these relationships, we must expect to work harder to clear the waters as the tides return, so we can enjoy the occasional unique shells of this friendship brought in with the tide. Usually you will have to work to find them, and it will take effort and patience, but once in a while, you will be rewarded with a whole sand dollar, or a beautiful complete sprial shell.
Like a small tidal pool in a reef - some friendships are always there, at an essentially constant level. That is not to say that you see them daily, but you will find you usually have some sort of consistant contact.
There are times when the water is higher, and times when the level dips, but for the most part, these are the friendships that are closest to your heart. You can count on them to be there when you need a place to go and just be. A place where you will be accepted for who you are, and the waters are calm and peaceful.
If you get your snorkel and look just below the surface, you will find many treasures in these friendships. The brilliant and beautiful colors of honesty, kindness and caring will thrill you! Encouragement and grace are abundant and provide the safety of the reef. This type of relationship will withstand the test of time, and will become your one of your favorite spots to stop and reflect.
I've been personally grieving the loss of a friendship, and with it, finding anger and frustration in how much power this relationship seems to have over me. Now I understand that the relationship may or may not be over, only the tides will tell. It's not for me to determine, but for me to find the good in it. Friendships may come and go, some will be deeper than others, but every person we come in contact with can be a blessing in our lives if we look for it. Know what to expect and you will be ready for the loss that comes when the tide heads out with your friends on it. Know that the cycle will come around again, and look for the beauty mark they have left in your life. Then smile at the power of our relationships to shape and grow our lives!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
sleepless nights
Well - my goal was to write daily here for 21 days... I guess today counts as day 1 again? :)
Last night was a rough night. It always is when Grady is gone. I have the hardest time getting to sleep! We are late nighters anyway, but it takes me another 2-3 hours to get to sleep when Grady isn't here. Sometimes I just lie in bed tossing and turning, sometimes I get up and do something, and sometimes I do a little of both! Most times I end up reading a book or watching tv trying to unwind. I'm tired, but just can't get to sleep!
Now if I had been married since I was 20, and always had someone around in the evening, this would make sense. But I wasn't. I slept on my own most of my adult life (and ALL of my childhood!). So truely, it's only been the last 3 years that I've gotten used to having someone next to me while I'm sleeping. Grady is gone about 1/2 of the month, which means I should be used to sleeping alone part of the time... ? Very strange.
The only thing I can come up with is our nightly routine of snuggling before sleep. It is my favorite part of the day - wrapped up in his arms feeling safe and secure. We always say that no matter what is going on, when we have our nightly snuggle, all is right with the world. <3 When he's not here, I miss out on that part of our evening, and the "signal" that it's time to sleep. I've tried snuggling with pillows but it's not the same... so I will continue to get to bed late, and thankfully have the ability to nap during the day if I need to! Or I can use an XS Shot in the afternoon. And in a few days, Grady is home, and life is back to normal!
Last night was a rough night. It always is when Grady is gone. I have the hardest time getting to sleep! We are late nighters anyway, but it takes me another 2-3 hours to get to sleep when Grady isn't here. Sometimes I just lie in bed tossing and turning, sometimes I get up and do something, and sometimes I do a little of both! Most times I end up reading a book or watching tv trying to unwind. I'm tired, but just can't get to sleep!
Now if I had been married since I was 20, and always had someone around in the evening, this would make sense. But I wasn't. I slept on my own most of my adult life (and ALL of my childhood!). So truely, it's only been the last 3 years that I've gotten used to having someone next to me while I'm sleeping. Grady is gone about 1/2 of the month, which means I should be used to sleeping alone part of the time... ? Very strange.
The only thing I can come up with is our nightly routine of snuggling before sleep. It is my favorite part of the day - wrapped up in his arms feeling safe and secure. We always say that no matter what is going on, when we have our nightly snuggle, all is right with the world. <3 When he's not here, I miss out on that part of our evening, and the "signal" that it's time to sleep. I've tried snuggling with pillows but it's not the same... so I will continue to get to bed late, and thankfully have the ability to nap during the day if I need to! Or I can use an XS Shot in the afternoon. And in a few days, Grady is home, and life is back to normal!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
irony
I recently have been enjoying some friends' blogs, and had to ask myself, why have I not kept up with blogging? I love sharing life with others! So why....? No good reason. Laziness? Low priority? Lack of interest? Perhaps all of the above.
So I decided to pull up my blog site and add a new entry. As I was reading the LAST entry - from about 18 months ago, I found it very ironic it was all about consistancy! I had just read the book "The Slight Edge" that discusses how the little things we do (or don't do) consistantly will make the difference is how your life develops! Obviously, I'm still dealing with lack of consistancy... but working on it every day! I'm proud to report that I am getting better at being consistant... slowly but surely!
So here's my new challenge to myself: consistantly blog for the next 21 days. I've read that 21 days makes a habit... can I make this my daily habit? I think I can! Join me on this journey! Love your feedback!
Blessings!
So I decided to pull up my blog site and add a new entry. As I was reading the LAST entry - from about 18 months ago, I found it very ironic it was all about consistancy! I had just read the book "The Slight Edge" that discusses how the little things we do (or don't do) consistantly will make the difference is how your life develops! Obviously, I'm still dealing with lack of consistancy... but working on it every day! I'm proud to report that I am getting better at being consistant... slowly but surely!
So here's my new challenge to myself: consistantly blog for the next 21 days. I've read that 21 days makes a habit... can I make this my daily habit? I think I can! Join me on this journey! Love your feedback!
Blessings!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The Slight Edge
Looking back on my entire life (all 39 years of it!), I've come to one conclusion - consistancy is key. Anything worthwhile that we want to accomplish or attain - takes consistant effort. Losing weight, being fit, buying a home - all require a consistant effort - controlling eating habits, exercising the muscles, putting away money for a down payment - these are the things that will bring those goals to fruition.
It has become glaringly evident to me that the only thing I am consistant at is being inconsistant! I have a few routines in my life, which help me immensely - puts those parts of my life on auto-pilot so I can LIVE the rest of it!
Recently I read a book called "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson, and he talks about this exact thing. The slight edge is always at work in our lives - either with a positive or a negative outcome. That 30 minute walk I take today won't give me a fit body - today. But combine it with a 30 minute walk tomorrow, and the next day and the next, and just like compound interest, it starts to add up! And it goes the same for the super greasy bacon cheeseburger I eat today - it won't kill me - today. But if I eat one today, and tomorrow and the next day - perhaps even one this week, one next week and one the week after - it can easily add up to a heart attack down the road.
So my challenge is this - to pick one thing - this week - and be consistant. It takes 21 days of consistancy to make a habit.... so every 3 weeks I will pick a new "one thing." One thing is hard - I want it all and I want it now... then I get overwhelmed and don't do any of it! So, one thing....I'll have to get back to you on what that one thing is! :o)
It has become glaringly evident to me that the only thing I am consistant at is being inconsistant! I have a few routines in my life, which help me immensely - puts those parts of my life on auto-pilot so I can LIVE the rest of it!
Recently I read a book called "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson, and he talks about this exact thing. The slight edge is always at work in our lives - either with a positive or a negative outcome. That 30 minute walk I take today won't give me a fit body - today. But combine it with a 30 minute walk tomorrow, and the next day and the next, and just like compound interest, it starts to add up! And it goes the same for the super greasy bacon cheeseburger I eat today - it won't kill me - today. But if I eat one today, and tomorrow and the next day - perhaps even one this week, one next week and one the week after - it can easily add up to a heart attack down the road.
So my challenge is this - to pick one thing - this week - and be consistant. It takes 21 days of consistancy to make a habit.... so every 3 weeks I will pick a new "one thing." One thing is hard - I want it all and I want it now... then I get overwhelmed and don't do any of it! So, one thing....I'll have to get back to you on what that one thing is! :o)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Desktop of Life
If you are a PC user - you will totally be able to relate to this - if you are a MAC user - I have no idea if you'll get it or not.....
Mom and I were takling tonight about getting rid of things - releasing things from our past. Mom had kept my first gray hair, my pay stubs from every job I've had when I was younger, and on and on. She finally released it - to the trash and the shredder! Friends just sold their fishing boat - they had if for quite a few years and had lots of memories on it. Mom commented that a chapter in their life was closing - how sad.
I got to thinking - it's not always a sad thing when a chapter closes. Closes one chapter gives us the ability to open another! It's like windows on your desktop - you can only have so many open windows at one time. It seems as if you can have as many as you want... but the reality is - if you have too many open it overloads the system and it crashes! It's best to only have a few open at one time.
Same with life - if you never release your past - you can't move forward. And sometimes - having too many things open in your life at once can make you crash as well!
I'm not saying to DELETE your past - but file it away. Close the chapter, file it on the hard drive, and move on to the next great adventure in life! Blessings to you!
Mom and I were takling tonight about getting rid of things - releasing things from our past. Mom had kept my first gray hair, my pay stubs from every job I've had when I was younger, and on and on. She finally released it - to the trash and the shredder! Friends just sold their fishing boat - they had if for quite a few years and had lots of memories on it. Mom commented that a chapter in their life was closing - how sad.
I got to thinking - it's not always a sad thing when a chapter closes. Closes one chapter gives us the ability to open another! It's like windows on your desktop - you can only have so many open windows at one time. It seems as if you can have as many as you want... but the reality is - if you have too many open it overloads the system and it crashes! It's best to only have a few open at one time.
Same with life - if you never release your past - you can't move forward. And sometimes - having too many things open in your life at once can make you crash as well!
I'm not saying to DELETE your past - but file it away. Close the chapter, file it on the hard drive, and move on to the next great adventure in life! Blessings to you!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Art of Listening Prayer
I've started reading a new book by Seth Barnes - "The Art of Listening Prayer." What a blessing this book is! Interestingly enough, in 2003 I started reading "How to listen to God" by Charles Stanley. I was at a crossroads in my life, and I learned so much about how to hear God's voice and the many different ways he speaks to us.
"The Art of Listening Prayer has a similar tone, but gives the practical how-to's of conversing with God. Not just talking to him, but actually conversing with him. Talking then listening. Asking questions and listening for God's answer. Then responding.
I'm only on day 2- journaling, but wow! I've been practicing a form of listening prayer on and off for a long time, but I haven't ever journaled my questions, responses or prayers. I did today, and it was very powerful! Just to put God's words in a different color pen, and see them in my journal - along with my questions, impressions and prayer back to God... I really had a wonderful quiet time with him this morning! 45 minutes went by in a snap! I was amazed!
God has blessed me with time - I don't have to go to a job every day, I have no kids, and my husband is home much of the time for me to enjoy him. It's time for me to start returning some of that time to God - the form of conversation. Prayer. Adoration. Love. I'm so looking forward to spending more time with the God of my ancestors, and the God of my life!
Monday, July 21, 2008
a servant's heart
Lately I've been so unsettled, feeling like my life is stagnant - and I'm working on doing things to change that. Years ago I would have blamed Grady or been mad and frustrated. However, after lots of books and training , I now know it's up to me to make my life fun and exciting - and fulfilling. I need to take my eyes off myself and help someone else - that is where our joy comes from. It's good to know and realize that - and to know that I can change my situation. It's funny how we as humans think that when we are lacking or unfulfilled, we need more self time and time for pleasure - tv, books, movies, etc. But the reality is - God wired us to be fulfilled when we are helping others - not helping ourselves. So as we are more and more self centered, we get more and more discontent with life, and try to fill the hole with more and more of self....! It's a vicious cycle that doesn't work! Others is where we will find our joy - pouring ourselves into others. Giving of ourselves - time, money, expertise... the things that God has equipped us with, is where we will ultimately be filled with the joy we are seeking!
Having a servant's heart is what God ultimately desires for us.
Mark 10:43-45
Having a servant's heart is what God ultimately desires for us.
Mark 10:43-45
"... Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Dependent Independance
Independence. Being dependant on no one. As July 4th approaches, I consider all of the arenas this thought can be applied to - country, job, relationships, on and on. For me, it started with one, seemingly small, thing.
My computer died the other day. My laptop is only a year old, but it really had been having problems since I brought it home. Little things, but those little things add up - and over a year - it finally collapsed the system (my term) and it wouldn't work anymore. So I took it to the computer doctor - Atascocita Computers - the BEST people in the world to work on your computers! They said they would fix it and it should be around $100! Yay! But they wouldn't be able to look at it for about a week.... it was Friday...... that means I would be without my computer for at least 2 weekends! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now that shouldn't be a big deal. I use the computer a lot, but we have a desktop in Grady's office. Most of the things I do on the computer don't deal with specific files on my computer - they are online things. A lot of my time online is spent with email. So really, this shouldn't have been an issue. But let me tell you what... it was a HUGE issue!
What I quickly discovered is how my feeling of independence is directly linked to my ability to use my laptop. I found out how many times a day I go to it as a reference, or a quick email communication. Grady uses his work computer at his desk, so the desktop computer wasn't readily available for me whenever I wanted it. I had to plan my time and use to coincide with him. I had to write down what I wanted to look up, so when I had a chance to get on the computer, I could get the things done I needed to as soon as possible. This didn't always work out very well (notice I haven't blogged for a while?). I get these thoughts in my head, and usually go do it right then. I don't write it down because I think I'll remember, but then when I would sit at the computer - it was gone. I limped along hopping online whenever I could.
Not having a computer/Internet available at the any time I want really messed with my head. All of the sudden I felt like I was constantly imposing on my husband - using HIS computer. I felt vulnerable, irritable and highly dependant on Grady. Now mind you - I AM highly dependant on Grady - but I don't usually FEEL that way. How does a laptop and an Internet connect give me a feeling of independence? It allows me to set my own schedule, to do (or not do) what I want, when I want. It lets me keep in touch with social networking sites, emails, and instant messages. When I want to find a recipe using coconut milk, I can. When I want to see how much those cute shoes I've been thinking about are, I can. When I'm planning for a bookcase, I can go online and find the sizes available. Anything. Anytime. When it's mine.
Even thought I feel independent when I have availability to the Internet/computer, I discovered there is no independence without dependence on something. EVERYTHING is INTER-dependant. And that's NOT a bad thing!
My computer died the other day. My laptop is only a year old, but it really had been having problems since I brought it home. Little things, but those little things add up - and over a year - it finally collapsed the system (my term) and it wouldn't work anymore. So I took it to the computer doctor - Atascocita Computers - the BEST people in the world to work on your computers! They said they would fix it and it should be around $100! Yay! But they wouldn't be able to look at it for about a week.... it was Friday...... that means I would be without my computer for at least 2 weekends! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now that shouldn't be a big deal. I use the computer a lot, but we have a desktop in Grady's office. Most of the things I do on the computer don't deal with specific files on my computer - they are online things. A lot of my time online is spent with email. So really, this shouldn't have been an issue. But let me tell you what... it was a HUGE issue!
What I quickly discovered is how my feeling of independence is directly linked to my ability to use my laptop. I found out how many times a day I go to it as a reference, or a quick email communication. Grady uses his work computer at his desk, so the desktop computer wasn't readily available for me whenever I wanted it. I had to plan my time and use to coincide with him. I had to write down what I wanted to look up, so when I had a chance to get on the computer, I could get the things done I needed to as soon as possible. This didn't always work out very well (notice I haven't blogged for a while?). I get these thoughts in my head, and usually go do it right then. I don't write it down because I think I'll remember, but then when I would sit at the computer - it was gone. I limped along hopping online whenever I could.
Not having a computer/Internet available at the any time I want really messed with my head. All of the sudden I felt like I was constantly imposing on my husband - using HIS computer. I felt vulnerable, irritable and highly dependant on Grady. Now mind you - I AM highly dependant on Grady - but I don't usually FEEL that way. How does a laptop and an Internet connect give me a feeling of independence? It allows me to set my own schedule, to do (or not do) what I want, when I want. It lets me keep in touch with social networking sites, emails, and instant messages. When I want to find a recipe using coconut milk, I can. When I want to see how much those cute shoes I've been thinking about are, I can. When I'm planning for a bookcase, I can go online and find the sizes available. Anything. Anytime. When it's mine.
Even thought I feel independent when I have availability to the Internet/computer, I discovered there is no independence without dependence on something. EVERYTHING is INTER-dependant. And that's NOT a bad thing!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
HOME SWEET HOME
Whew! After more than 2 weeks on the road, I am finally HOME! Grady comes home this evening, and we are so looking forward to being home together with the kitties!
It's interesting - Grady and I both LOVE to travel. We thoroughly enjoy living in hotels and out of suitcases! We thrive on trying new beds and towels and exploring behind the closed doors of hotel meeting and ballrooms. Comparing the Executive Lounge offerings and the free hot breakfasts from each, and the room views, of course! Checking out the swimming pool and hopefully, the hot tub, and maybe hitting the gym, are things we look forward to!
But after about a week on the road, we begin to get weary. The excitement of bringing up all the bags, even on the bellhops dolly, soon becomes cumbersome, and expensive if the bellhop is helping. Repacking the bags and the car each morning - even every other morning, turns into a chore. And while we are still enjoying each new place to explore, and the familiarity of the hotels we have been to before, we long for the routine of our home, for the familiar smell of our favorite coffee brewing in the morning, the comfort of our cushy couch with the kitties snuggled up next to us.
I'm continuously amazed at how we can both love the change and adventure, and long for the familiar after such a short time. I am so thankful that we have such a comfortable place to return to! We are unbelievably blessed, and thank God every day for what he is doing is our lives!
It's interesting - Grady and I both LOVE to travel. We thoroughly enjoy living in hotels and out of suitcases! We thrive on trying new beds and towels and exploring behind the closed doors of hotel meeting and ballrooms. Comparing the Executive Lounge offerings and the free hot breakfasts from each, and the room views, of course! Checking out the swimming pool and hopefully, the hot tub, and maybe hitting the gym, are things we look forward to!
But after about a week on the road, we begin to get weary. The excitement of bringing up all the bags, even on the bellhops dolly, soon becomes cumbersome, and expensive if the bellhop is helping. Repacking the bags and the car each morning - even every other morning, turns into a chore. And while we are still enjoying each new place to explore, and the familiarity of the hotels we have been to before, we long for the routine of our home, for the familiar smell of our favorite coffee brewing in the morning, the comfort of our cushy couch with the kitties snuggled up next to us.
I'm continuously amazed at how we can both love the change and adventure, and long for the familiar after such a short time. I am so thankful that we have such a comfortable place to return to! We are unbelievably blessed, and thank God every day for what he is doing is our lives!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Summer-night Light Show
It's almost midnight in Atlanta, and the summer night air is a balmy 75*. I was visiting a friend in Marietta tonight, and as I was leaving - I kept seeing flashes in the sky. Over and over and over. It seemed to have a consistent beat to it, so I assumed it was simply a beacon. Then I saw it from the opposite direction.... and she saw it too! Turns out - it's a summer-night lightning storm!
The show has been spectacular - I could see the flashes of light from behind the clouds on my way back to the hotel. Occasionally a bolt of lightening will pop through the clouds as it splits the sky! And not a drop of rain the entire way back to the hotel - which is a new phenomenon for me!
Now I am sitting at the window wall in our room on the 30th floor, thoroughly enjoying the evening light show! Most of the drama is behind the SunTrust Plaza building - which is another 30 or so stories higher than I am, so I can only see the sky light up around it. Every once in a while I get a bonus of seeing the bolt off in the distance hitting some rod somewhere. The last one I saw was red even! Don't think I've ever seen red lightning!
I am holding out hope that the Bank of America building - just a short mile almost directly in front of my window wall - will get hit on it's spire! Which I believe is what it is created for! That would be incredible! More flashes - still behind the SunTrust Plaza. I'll keep watching and trying to be patient. Lightning is one of the those fabulously unpredictable forces that hold me in reverent awe. Fire and ocean waves do as well. I can just imagine God creating art - setting into motion a fireworks display to rival any that man tries to create. Our God is so good - sharing with us His awesome creativity and beauty. How great Thou art!
The show has been spectacular - I could see the flashes of light from behind the clouds on my way back to the hotel. Occasionally a bolt of lightening will pop through the clouds as it splits the sky! And not a drop of rain the entire way back to the hotel - which is a new phenomenon for me!
Now I am sitting at the window wall in our room on the 30th floor, thoroughly enjoying the evening light show! Most of the drama is behind the SunTrust Plaza building - which is another 30 or so stories higher than I am, so I can only see the sky light up around it. Every once in a while I get a bonus of seeing the bolt off in the distance hitting some rod somewhere. The last one I saw was red even! Don't think I've ever seen red lightning!
I am holding out hope that the Bank of America building - just a short mile almost directly in front of my window wall - will get hit on it's spire! Which I believe is what it is created for! That would be incredible! More flashes - still behind the SunTrust Plaza. I'll keep watching and trying to be patient. Lightning is one of the those fabulously unpredictable forces that hold me in reverent awe. Fire and ocean waves do as well. I can just imagine God creating art - setting into motion a fireworks display to rival any that man tries to create. Our God is so good - sharing with us His awesome creativity and beauty. How great Thou art!
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