It's a great deal - someone else's?

I had a bit of a revelation today - just because something is a good deal and I see it and like it and could use it - doesn't mean I need to get it.  It MIGHT be someone else's good deal - and if I buy it - I might be stealing the blessing from someone else.  :(  I certainly don't want to do that - I want to be used to bless others, not steal their blessings.


I had this "God breeze"(thank you FlyLady for the great wording!) while I was getting dressed and pulling out a pair of white sandals.  I have two pair that I love and wear often - both flats and very similar, but different enough that I wear them for different occasions.  While I was in Boise, I was at Fred Meyer in the shoe section, and they had a pair of BOC white sandals for $12 in my size.  It was a great deal and they are crazy comfortable shoes... but I already had two pairs of white flats.  I searched for another color that I needed - black or bronze would have been great - but none in my size.  I tried on a different size.  Not a good fit.  So then I agonized - do I get them?  It's a great deal and it's "only" $12... and I ended up leaving them there.


Then today as I was getting dressed and pulling out my white sandals, I realized - yes it was a great deal, but it might have been someone else's great deal!  If I had bought those sandals that I didn't really need, someone else would have been denied the excitement and blessing of finding their "great deal!"


I was reminded at church this weekend that I applied this knowledge to my "relationship shopping," meaning that just because he's a great guy, a godly man, and maybe has many qualities I'm looking for, it doesn't mean that he is the right fit for me.  I was willing to wait for God's perfect fit for me - and I'm incredibly thankful that I did!  I couldn't have engineered a more perfect fit if I had tried - and I did!  My sweetie is such a perfect fit for me in every way - we often marvel at the wisdom of God bringing us together - our puzzle pieces fit exactly.  <3


I will make it a point to be more mindful while I am out shopping to watch for MY great deals... the ones that fit me perfectly.  And those great deals that aren't quite right?  I'll know that I got to preview someone else's blessing!

Grief in your dreams....

This morning I had a crazy dream - a friends daughter passed away (she's a child) and I didn't know until I was visiting them a few days later.  They were so calm telling me what happened - it was about 2 days later that I was learning about her death, and I knew she had been sick with a fever, but nothing serious I thought.  They said she died in her sleep.  Her dad knew something was wrong when her fever was so high but she didn't feel hot.  Tears welled up in her daddy's eyes as he told me, but there were other children around and he didn't want to influence them with his sadness, so he just told me as though we were talking about the weather.  Her mom was similar - almost cold - as thought the grief was over and she had moved on.  I kept thinking what a brave front they were putting on, and tried to do the same, only letting the tears in my eyes spill over one time.

Then Grady came into the dream - he came over to make sure all was ok - apparently I had been gone longer than he expected.  When he came in, I told him what had happened, and we left... next scene in my dream I was in a bathroom, with all white tile floors and walls, and a cobalt blue toilet seat cover and towels.  I slumped behind the door and began to wail in pain for the little girl who was gone.  I was sobbing - the choking kinds of sobs that happened when your heart is in so my despair that it physically hurts.

At this point I woke up.  No tears in my eyes.  My heart rate was elevated, but not pounding.  It was only 30 minutes before my alarm would go off, so not crazy early.  Just awake - and certainly not going back to sleep.

Of course my first instinct was to pray for the little girl - and I did.  And my niece and every other little girl I could think of!  The next thing I wanted to do was call the parents and make sure she is ok, but after a small amount of consideration, I realized that would not be a good thing to do.  First of all, none of my dreams have come to fruition, so I have no reason to believe that she is anything but fine.  Second, what parent wants to have the thought planted in their brains that someone dreamed their daughter was dead?

Instead, I made the coffee, took the trash to the curb (and quickly realized trash day is tomorrow and brought it back!), spent some time in the Word of God, and now I'm writing about this vivid dream of grief.  I can't recall a time that I dreamed of grieving before - I know I've been scared and confused and angry, but grief stricken?  I can't recall.  I know I was shocked to be sobbing hard in my dream but not when I awoke.  And the sobbing was in the 3rd person - I was watching like a movie, but the first part of the dream was as though I was filming the movie.  Dreams as so very strange to me - that they change people and places and even perspectives so quickly.   That you can recall some things but not others.   That the emotions that are in your dreams stay with your for a very long time when you wake up.

I'm thankful I have an outlet to share my dreams  - as I'm the kind of person who feels the need to articulate the vivid ones - and this one is not a good one to share with people who know the child.  Even Grady will stay in the dark about this one.

My questions to you - whoever might be reading this - have you ever grieved in your dreams before?  Do you dream in the 1st person, 3rd person, or both?  Do you have anything you "do" with your dreams, ie write them down, try to interpret them, etc.?  Thanks for your thoughts and your input.